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2009-02-08 09:41:32
... Tea for two, and two for tea....
2008-08-26 17:32:54
… some members of which visited once in a while with hopes of converting Matilda to their faith but Matilda, being a devout Bearbarian, would have none of it. The Universal Lice Church had the weirdest dogma, accompanied by strange rituals with the members sitting around in circles and scratching one another’s backs until they bled. Then they would do the conga all through the forest for several hours - at night, mind you, wearing miners’ lamps on their foreheads - reciting some mumbo jumbo that you could not make a head a tail out of… The perfect moment of the proposal foiled, Matilda was mighty irritated and, instead of inviting the hippies in for refreshment, curtly announced: “Mr Source (yes, that was Bearnaise’s last name) and I are just about to leave to visit farmer Brown’s beehives to replenish our stores of honey, and no, you’re not invited to come along, if that’s what you were thinking!” The hippies looked at Matilda, who was still dripping with wine and insects were buzzing around her head, turned stumpy tail and congaed out of the lair and right across the forest clearing, to disappear into the shadows of the mighty trees. Suddenly, ...
2008-08-26 12:33:35
..a strange feeling rose in his hairy breast..he'd never been one to take any lady bear seriously..after all, his was the code of the wild bear..."Born on a mounatin, raised in a cave..partyin' and rockin' is all I crave"..but the sight of Matilda there in the moonlight, her golden hair damp with wine punch and flecked with shards of broken glass, with Chuck Berry wailing "You Never Can Tell" in the background, caused some strange reaction in his beary soul, and he realized, almost with a shock, that he was in love...
2008-08-25 14:02:26
...but down it came, and crashed on the floor of the lair, breaking Grandma Ethel’s precious crystal punchbowl and sploshing the wine punch everywhere, including Bearnaise’s best Sunday suit. Matilda, her cheeks reddening with humiliation, tried to hold onto what was left of her dignity and clumsily rose from the floor, picking shards of glass from her golden locks. Bearnaise looked at Matilda’s flushed face and thought she had never looked prettier, and…
2008-08-25 13:09:45
Bear in mind that he'd been drinkin' all afternoon, and after that he'd been settin' a spell, so his right foot had fallen asleep and he was just tryin' to knock out the jingly-jangle, pins and needles feeling that was threatening his balance. Well, that's when the organic material hit the oscillating metal fins attached to the electrical motor. Matilda was just trippin' by looking for the punchbowl, 'cause she was gasp-hacking away the aftereffects of too big a lung-full of Farmer Freddy's best crunk when out of nowhere popped that right leg With Matilda's already poor eyesight and over-stimulated tear ducts, the poor dear didn't stand a chance against the low flung obstacle in her way. The lever like action of Bearnaise' semi-somnolent and massive lower limb against Matilda's already out-of-control shin-diggery had an unpredictable result. Matilda was upended as she passed the embarrassed Bearnaise, and almost seemed to float the two or three meters to the picnic table laden with the delicious repast which had been set out for the revelers. Even then, witnesses said that Matilda missed almost everything in her way, but luck was against Matilda that evening. Her nose just barely hit the half-full punchbowl which had been set up just a touch too near the end of the table...
2008-08-25 05:46:40
...get out Matilda's old record player.It was beat up and only played one record at a time, but she had an impressive collection of old 45's and 78's she'd found rummaging around in abandoned cabins. They'd open another bottle of Bearberry wine and Matilda would roll up a big doobie. She knew where all of Freaky Farmer Freddy's patches of primo were, and made regular forays, taking just enough to maintain a fat stash. Then they'd put on the records. Bearnaise liked the old Chess 45's, with early stuff by cats lile Muddy Waters, Sonny Boy Williamson and Bo Diddley. There were some old Alladin sides by Clarence 'Gatemouth' Brown and Lightnin' Hopkins, and original releases of "Boogie Chillen" and "I'm in the Mood," by John Lee Hooker and "Stranded in the Jungle" by the Cadets, on the old Modern label. As the moon rose over the mountains the two bears would get down and do some serious boogie'n.The smaller, more timid forest creatures would creep to the edge of the clearing and watch Bearnaise and Matilda rockin' and bopin', and wonder what it was all about, and why Bearnaise had such a goofy grin on his face. Then, long about midnight.....
2008-08-25 02:46:11
Bearnaise danced happily down the country road, whistling Waltzing Matilda as his long claws beat a rasping ONE-two-three on the sand and pebbles. All spruced up and wearing his best brown suit, he was heading with an expectant air towards his girlfriend Matilda’s lair. Every Sunday they would meet and share a rack of roast venison, accompanied by a bottle of vintage bearberry wine, after which they would... CONTINUE, PATITO! ;-)