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2009-11-04 02:03:15
Hi p @ A cattle buyer died and found himself in Hell. As he was moping around and complaining that he'd never done anything bad enough to end up in Hell, Satan approached and asked what was wrong. "What do you think is wrong? I'm in Hell." answered the cattle buyer. Satan said, "Well, it's not so bad down here. Let me ask you... Are you a drinking man?" "Yes, I like to drink some" said the cattle buyer. "Well, on Mondays, all we do here is drink. Beer, vodka, wine, whiskey, you name it. We drink until we get sick and then we drink some more," responded Satan . "That sounds pretty good" the cattle buyer replied. "Do you smoke?" asked Satan . "Yes, I smoke," said the cattle buyer. "Well, on Tuesdays all we do here is smoke" Satan said, "Cigarettes, cigars, pipes, all of it. And the great part is is that you don't have to worry about lung cancer because you're already dead." The cattle buyer said, "That's a pretty good deal" "How about drug use?" Satan asked. "Well, yes, I have tried drugs different times" said the cattle buyer. Proudly, Satan said, "On Wednesdays, all we do is drugs... Pot, coke, heroin. And the best part is you don't have to worry about an overdose because you're dead." The cattle buyer said, "All right, this might not be so bad" Then Satan asked," Do you gamble?" "Yes, I like to gamble", replied the cattle buyer "On Thursdays, we gamble. We play poker, craps, roulette, slots, everything. And if you go broke, who cares. You're dead," Satan said with a smirk. "I think I'm gonna like it down here." said the cattle buyer. "Let me ask you this... Are you homosexual?" asked Satan. Cautiously, the cattle buyer answered, "No, I'm definitely not." "Well, you're gonna hate Fridays then."