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Old Comments:

2011-08-09 15:23:41
Again, let me say who pleased I am that someone has again honored me by adopting my name, or something close to it. Obviously, someone with a LOT of time on their hands :) Thanks, the real Patito
2011-08-09 12:54:10
All dogs are beautiful *********************************** If you've ever lived upon a farm, You'll know the feeling well - How easy it can be to get The visitors from hell. Y'know those mongrels from the city That invite themselves to stay, Because they want a holiday, Where they don't have to pay. Now, I might be pretty cynical And I was just a kid, But I'd seen it happen every year - It's what they always did. Bring some ice-cream and a box of fruit And half a slab of beer, And act like it's a favour If they stay there half the year. And all on the assumption that We'd be glad to see The half-brother of our Uncle Harry's Wife's third cousin, Bea. They never do a tap of work, They clean up all our grog, But it came to a screeching halt, The year they brought the dog! Yes, the middle seat was taken By this huge Rottweiller thing, On his neck a studded collar Without a hitching ring. The old man stared in silence, then said, "You'll have to tie him up." They said,"He's had obedience training, And he's just the sweetest pup." The dog bailed out the window, They said ,"Oh, you little tyke." One word from this mug, And he did exactly as he liked. And like a black and tan tornado, With a brainless, snarling face, He caused an orgy of destruction, 'Round our peaceful country place. He flogged our poor old kelpie bitch, And not content with that, Killed six of Mum's bext laying chooks, And murdered Grandma's cat. He chewed our poor pet possum's tail, And chased it up a tree. While this dork flicked pages in his book On "Dog Psychology". And while the city bloke was trying To find answers out of books, The Rottweiler, teeth gnashing, Headed straight for Andy's chooks. Yes, young Andy's special bantams, Who'd won ribbons at the show, Looked just like they were going to be The next thing here to go. But young Andy was a cunning lad With everything to gain, He raced over to the kennels And let Woody off the chain. And so, to vindicate the honour Of our simple country mutts, Woody flew in to the Rottweiler And latched onto his...nether regions. From the useless flaming boofhead, There arose an awful howl. They took off down the paddock At a thousand miles an hour With Woody hanging grimly, His feet skidding in the dirt, While my legs crossed all on their own, 'Cause struth, it must have hurt. He swung hard between two saplings, And set off his own dog trap When Woody, sliding sideways, Just failed to make the gap. The bellows of the rottweiler Became a high pitched squeak, He lost all interest in the flight And sat down in the creek. Then this poor mug from the city, He started acting tough, Till dad roared in his face,"You bum! I've had a bloody 'nough! Old Woody did the right thing The proper thing to do! Anyone who'd breed that mongrel, Would be as dumb as bloody you!" And Dad's whole face went scarlet His eyes flashed hard and mean. He howled,"I've seen some some bludging mongrels, But you're the best I've seen! So pack your traps and snatch it You rotten mongrel sod. Or I'll make a wether out of you Like Woody did your dog!" With the air of people greatly wronged They loaded their pet up And bounced off down the driveway With that castrated pup. But no more will we be troubled By those pushy city folk Who inflict themselves upon you Till it's gone beyond a joke. And sometimes when the phone rings Getting on towards Christmas time Dad's jaw begins to tighten And he's listening on the line Our grins keep getting wider As old Dad begins to cough, Then roars,"I've got only two words for you And the second one is...OFF!"